realistic" human behavior. I know it's not. I'm an intelligent woman. People come to me for advice and counsel. But I can't stop watching this two hour block of life.I wish I could talk to Jake. He needs my advice. Did you know I was an advice columnist in OU's student newspaper? It was pre e-mail, pre-facebook, pre-text. How did we survive? I know my following would be better today. Any who, I am going to write Jake an open letter. What would you say to Jake?
Jake,
How can you STILL (hate that word) not be IN love with Ali? She just left. She left 7 hours before you taped that phone call. We all know this show takes place over 6 weeks. I said it weeks ago, if Ali goes she'll be the next Bachelorette. Thanks to US Weekly, our thoughts have been confirmed. We'll see Ali at the next most dramatic rose ceremony. Jake, I hope you have someone to sit next to on the couch while you watch Ali's season.
Vienna is not good people. She isn't the type of neighbor that would mow that side of the lawn that touches your grass. I bet she doesn't return her carts at the grocery store or holds doors for people. She is that girl who wouldn't let you borrow something of hers for a special date. I bet she doesn't "split" a bill...but itemizes it. She probably would take wine to a party and then take back the opened bottle. Jake, she has mermaid hair. Make it stop.
Tenley. She couldn't have looked any more beautiful on Monday night. That flower (I'm shaking my head with envy). If I had a flower in my hair - people would think a leaf fell on me. Seriously, I did think the dancing to Canon D was a BIT too much (the week before). Her laugh and voice is a BIT too much...but she wants to love, has the capacity to love, and is classy. I'm not at all jealous of her body or lack of cheeks (the ones on her face). Jake, she will make sure you have cute Christmas decorations in your home. Vienna would put up fake poinsettias. Shutter.
Gia. Very classy send-off. For a swimsuit model who had not impressed me, your final impression was a good one. Like all of us searching for love, Gia deserves to be treasured. Good job leaving her rose-less to find her one true love.
Jake, don't let me down. Mother and I believe the Vienna rumors are just that...rumors. Please say it's true.
Yours Truly, Rose-less in Norman, OK
7 COMMENT (click here to leave a comment):
Oh my goodness Kate...you kill me. I am rolling, love it!
Hi Kate,
I left you a comment once or twice a year or so ago, and I still check in as a lurker. :) I just have to say that I LOVE your bachelor posts!! I really think you should find a way to send Jake this latest letter....I laughed out loud about the Christmas decor scenario and Vienna's mermaid hair! Thanks for the entertaining posts :)
Just happened upon your blog, but I couldn't agree more. I LOVE watching the Bachelor, but if the rumors are true, I really don't care to watch anymore. I can't stand Vienna and I so.... don't want to see Tenley drive off in that limo heartbroken.
Will be tuning in to the "girls tell all" tonight!
I did not watch it this season... you crack me up!
I just watched "Before the Final Rose." When Chris first spoke with Ali, he asked, if now, would she have stayed on the show. She replied, "probably would." Probably. Makes me think she would not. I was taken aback when Jake choked up talking to her. She just stared at him, said, "I'm sorry," and shed a little tear. Makes me think Jake cared more for her than she did for him. The producers say she initiated the call to Jake. When he "shunned" her, she didn't seem that upset while on the phone. She may have had the Bachelorette on her mind but there was no announcement tonight By the way, I read that Tenley danced to one choice of music and the producers changed it. Not a wise move. She is sweet, maybe on the edge of boring, but has far more class than Vienna. Can't you see Vienna at Celebrity Cafe in Highland Park??? Wouldn't it be a sweepstakes record breaker if Jake didn't choose either Tenley or Vienna and went to San Francisco to propose to Ali? It won't happen but wouldn't that be a jaw dropper?
Kate you are cracking me up! I think you should apply for this show and show them how a real lady is supposed to be!!!! What did you think of Roslyn last night?
Hi! I came across your blog from Kelly's Korner and I love the Bachelor posts. They are hilarious and reflect my sentiments exactly on Vienna. Why is he keeping her? It's killing me!
Surely the rumors aren't true! I really hope not.
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