Sweet Sixteen.

There are days each year that stop me in my shoes (okay, tracks) reminding me of something life changing from that day listed on my Mary Englebright calendar. Some are more life changing events than others. Nevertheless, life changing. My Birthday. Pretty life changing if you ask me. Especially for Flo & Joe. Skip 18.9 years. August 18 - Delta Gamma Bid Day. October 27 - Initiation into the finest women's Fraternity in North America. July 12 - OU work anniversary. February 3 - Gramma born into eternal life. August 14 - HSC anniversary. January 11 - Grandpa born into eternal life. February 28 - Day of Honesty. July 25 - Closed on The Weymouth. September 20 - V came home to her forever home. February 2 - Dad died. And, from that Groundhog Day in 1994..my life would never be the same.

My Dad died a horrible death. I've spent many moments thinking about his death, the events leading up to his death, and his choices that led us to his death. Honestly, not a thought of him, a smell of English Leather, seeing a man with silver hair, the scent of pipe tobacco pass over me without leaving a mark, of some kind. The mark is bittersweet. As sweet as it is to have a memory, it can feel like salt on a paper cut. Even, sixteen years later.

Last year, I wrote a letter to my dear dad. I wrote it, and I still cry when I read it. This year, I want to say how thankful I am. Well, and a few other things. I've been working, praying, and hoping to concentrate on what I do have, not what I don't. I'm failing some days, but others I do better. I know. Shocking. I'm a work in progress.

Along with Mother, Dad gave me life. A life that is so blessed. A life that I know is not without pain, growth, and a search for forever peace. And, always hope. One that I wake up and typically am very happy to live. One that allows me to help others, enjoy a luxury (or 72 of them), and laugh. My Dad had a loud laugh that he never apologized for. I laugh loud...and I'm not apologizing anymore for it. Life is too short to not laugh whenever you can. And, however loud you wish.

This sixteenth year brought my family the best gift ever. The gift is about 32 inches tall, blows bubbles in the water, says "hello," and has taken her first few steps of life. I asked Dad over and over again (and all my grandparents, every priest I meet, and all my Facebook friends) for my niece to come home to our family. That she did. While February 2nd might be bittersweet, this sixteenth year has been a sweet one with my loVe bug in our arms. I know V was picked for us by both our Fathers in heaven. For that and so much more, I am thankful this bittersweet February 2nd.