Jake's Wings of Love V...Sugar or Spice? Or Cinnamon?

Before I give you my scenario hopes for tonight, lets discuss Ms. Rozlyn "I have issues" Bachelorette. Why is the world shocked by her textbook definition of defensive behavior? I will say I expected a lack of emotional intelligence from Roz, but she blew my assumption (which we know what assuming does!) out of the bachelorette RV windows.

Back to Roz...This is a woman who LIFTED her leg while taking pictures on a group date and the magic TV people had to "beep" out her you know what. I know not everyone can grow up with my Mother, but in the Book of Life - Chapter #324 - they do state to not lift your leg so high that one would be led to think you are not wearing unmentionables. And, let me mention this will not be acceptable to any Junior League in Texas.

So we have a woman who is willing to do a little Sharon Stone Basic Instinct redo on a 7 pm Monday night reality show, and we think she can handle being prosecuted against by a 23 female member jury? Of course, she is going to use her child's life to claim her innocence. I don't think she should wait by the phone to be the next cover model of Parents Magazine.

I will be using the Roz clip in my next Business Etiquette presentation. Roz takes the defensive "I tried to be good girl" to a new level of "I'm lying and this is the only thing I can think of to do" to an entertainment level that will rule for years. And, my Mother used to think I was defensive when I was a tween...I'm stinkin' Pollyanna playing the Glad Game compared to this one.

Chris, you handled yourself beautifully. Then again you did attend an Oklahoma institution of higher education. Your Oklahoma class showed off by your "not going to go there" response. Isn't it true in life... less is more?
Except when we are talking tulle, dishes, and iced tea.



Tonight (deep breath). What is going to happen people?
Let me break it down for you....think of me as your Olympic commentator. Four scenarios....

1) Jake chooses no one. He will throw himself over the railing, only to live to pop-up on the next season's MOST dramatic rose ceremony. Ever. Does Chris know we don't trust him anymore when he says that? Back to scenario 1. It will make Days of Our Lives' characters resurrections look like nothing compared to this amazing fight for love. Jake will have the original rose in his pocket from that night waiting all this time to give it to her. It wont be for a year until we realize the thorn did protrude his skin and he'll be a forever patient in Pine Valley, General Hospital, or Salem General. ABC could go far with this.

2) Jake chooses Vienna. The lights blink, the earth splits, and windows break due to the screams. It just can't be. Jake will no longer be a pilot, since he'll have to join his Mermaid of a wife under the sea to protect her from Tenley's dance instructor.

3) Jake chooses Tenley. Tenley would give her life to be his favorite flight attendant, co-pilot in life, and first officer of love. I do want her to be happy...you can just see it through her bones (I mean eyes) she loves him.

4) Jake burns both red roses. He charters a flight to San Francisco, He lands the plane just under the Bay Bridge and swims to shore. While updating his Facebook status "I left my heart in San Francisco"....Aly, Facebook's number one employee, sees the status and jets off to meet him. But, she is hit by a trolley (An Affair to Remember) before she can take him back. It won't be until next season that these two hearts become one.

Will it be Sugar, Spice or a fight for Cinnamon?